From the very beginning I was worried that Harper was going to come early. My sister had her little boy 4 weeks early and I felt like I needed to be prepared for this. I’m sure I drove Dave crazy insisting that everything had to be ready by March 1st. Just in case. Once we got into March, however, I began doubting my theory that our little girl was going to come early. I hit 36 weeks, 37 weeks and then 38 weeks and I was having absolutely no early labor signs and I started feeling more like I was probably going to be late. The weekend of March 26-27 we had some friends down from Damariscotta to stay with us. On Saturday morning Dave and I finished a few projects around the house we’d been working on and then spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with David & Rachel. We kept joking that they could be here when I went into labor, and that I had to be sure to have the baby before they went to Florida the middle of April. Sunday night after they left I was pretty tired but Dave and I stayed up till midnight watching birth videos on youtube. This is not something I necessarily recommend (YIKES). After Dave fell asleep I was still somewhat restless and was awake working on a design for our birth announcement. At about 1am I had a couple braxton hicks contractions and thought to myself I better go to sleep my luck I’ll go into labor after staying up all night and be exhausted. I guess this was a good instinct and I’m very glad I followed it.
Monday March 28, 2011: 5:00 AM- So it starts…
Around 5am I woke up with some cramping and sharp pains in my abdomen. It didn’t feel like what I imagined a contraction would feel like. Honestly it felt more like I was had an upset stomach and that I might be constipated. I was in and out of sleep for the next hour and the cramping continued. At 5:50 Dave’s alarm went off and I told him I wasn’t sure what was wrong but I kind of felt like maybe he shouldn’t go to work. He was scheduled for a simulator flight and would be unavailable for several hours. I told him I was either having contractions or I just really had to poop. He canceled his sim and we started trying to “time” my cramping. I was still pretty convinced that it was cramping from constipation and when I started having multiple bowel movements we were really cracking up because we had been timing my “constipation” cramps and I had made him stay home from work because I just had to poop. I was totally mortified and made him promise not to tell anyone at work (It’s ironic that I’m now sharing this with the whole world). He went back to sleep and because I still wasn’t feeling well I decided to take a shower. While I was in the shower the cramping started to change and it began radiating from my uterus and they were definitely coming in a pattern. I could say for sure when they started and stopped. At this point I started feeling a little bit of nervous excitement and really thought maybe she could be coming soon. At 7:30 I yelled at Dave to wake up and told him I was pretty sure I was actually having contractions and maybe we should call the midwife. I was still able to talk through the contractions, however, I had started swaying with them and breathing slowly through them. This was more of a subconscious decision, but it felt like what I needed to do so I went with it. We called our midwife, Catherine and she said it sounded like I was in early labor and I could either come into the office, labor at home for a while or go to the birthing unit at the hospital. We had wanted to labor at home for as long as possible so since I still felt like the contractions were pretty manageable we told her we would hang at home and them head to the birthing unit when we felt ready. She said it wasn’t so much how close my contractions were but how long and when we were about 2-4 min apart and about a min long that was when we should head in.
For the next hour my contractions starting getting more intense and I continued to sway and breath through them. When I had imagined my labor starting at home I figured I would be able to do a few more things in preparation for Harpers birth. This, however, was not the case. I was having contractions every 3-4 min and could barley get my clothes on and my bag packed. Dave was busy packing his bag loading the car and taking care of the dogs. He kept coming in the bedroom to check on me and help me time my contractions. I was determined to put make up on and make sure my hair at least looked OK. In a couple hours this was the least of my concerns.
At 9am I told Dave I was starting to feel like I wanted to head to the hospital soon. I was starting to have to focus more to get through the contractions and I knew the longer I was at home the harder the 20 min drive to the hospital would be. I felt a little apprehensive though because I felt that I had been laboring for such a short time and I really didn’t want to be going to the hospital to early. At 9:30 I had a very strong contraction that made me vomit and lasted around 55 sec. It was followed by another one 2 min apart and Dave made the decision we were leaving NOW. Once we got to the car I felt a little better and I asked him to stop and get me a grape Gatorade (I hadn’t eaten anything all morning and I was really concerned about staying hydrated) He told me he was sure that the hospital would have Gatorade and he really thought we should probably just get there. Thankfully the drive to the hospital was when I feel like I had the last of my “easier” contractions. We were able to joke and laugh between them and at this point I think we were both in a little bit of disbelief that it was actually happening. I kept telling Dave “I just hope I’m at least 3 or 4 cm”. My biggest fear was that I would get there and they would say it’s to early and I should go home.
10:00 AM – (5 Hrs in) “This baby is coming soon!”
When we got to the hospital we spoke to our nurse Megan and told her my contractions were 2-3 min apart and about 50 sec long. After watching me work through a few contractions she said she was going to call the midwife over right away and she felt like I was in very active labor. This is the point when Dave really became a pivotal part of my labor. He had been supportive at home, however part of that support was getting the dogs taken care of and the house ready to leave and the car loaded. When we were at the hospital his focus was totally on me and he knew exactly what to do. We had talked about labor quite a bit and had a good idea of how I would need support. It was an amazing experience though to actually see and feel our connection in action. It almost felt like we were communicating non-verbally through the entire rest of labor and delivery. We very rarely spoke but he knew exactly what I needed. Our nurses & midwife all commented afterwards that we were one of the best laboring couples they’ve ever seen & that our teamwork and connection was amazing.
When first arriving at the hospital I had to be hooked up to a fetal monitor for 20 min to make sure our little girl was tolerating the contractions and her heart rate was good. Having to lie down was very difficult for me at this point. I had been swaying and moving through each contraction and to be stationary was very hard and made getting through the contraction more difficult. When Catherine arrived and checked me at about 10:30 she said I was 8 cm dilated and 100% effaced. She told me we are going to be having this baby soon. I have never been so happy or in so much disbelief. It felt like the most beautiful gift. She told me I was doing amazing and that I had done the hardest work already. My contractions weren’t going to get worse just longer and closer together. I felt like I had almost gotten a second wind.
The next couple hours are a bit of a blur for me now looking back on it. I labored in multiple positions; we tried standing up and on a birthing ball. After the 20 min of lying down I felt like I had lost some of my rhythm and nothing felt it was working for me. We had contemplated a water birth, however because we were so far along there really wasn’t time, however I did have the option to labor for a while in the bathtub in my room. I was having a really difficult time focusing on anything but getting through the contractions and the idea of walking to the bathroom was almost impossible. Dave encouraged me to go ahead and try and I’m so glad I did. The water felt amazing. I also managed to drink some water and eat a couple popsicles. I never knew a popsicle could be so incredible.
12:30 AM (7.5 hours in) – “It’s ok to push”
While I was in the tub I started feeling a lot of pressure and I was starting to feel the urge to push. At this point my water had still not broken and Catherine did not want me pushing in the bathtub so we had to make the move back to the bed again. This again took an amazing amount of encouragement from Dave and focus. The difficulty moving was something that I had not anticipated and ironically every time I moved positions it felt like it helped both her move down and me gain some new strength and focus. After Catherine broke my water she said that when I started feeling pressure and the urge to push to go with it and try to push through a contraction. When I initially started pushing it felt amazing. I had something to channel my energy into something and I felt I was doing something productive with the pain. This was for me somewhat short lived. I started pushing for real at 1:00 PM. While I was pushing I was distinctly aware of the fact I did not want to be lying on the bed, my head was elevated, however, I wanted gravity to help me. I had finally lost the battle with myself however and knew moving was just not an option. I wasn’t even able to verbalize it.
For the next hour I worked on pushing Harper out. This was the hardest part of labor and the hardest thing I have ever done. Up until this point I felt that I had been able to manage the pain very well. This is point I began to loose my cool. Thankfully again Dave would always step in right when I needed him. He would slowly and calming take deep breathes to remind me to breath. Between contractions I was totally silent, and so was everyone else in the room. Megan and Dave were each on either side of me helping to support my legs and Catherine was in a rocking chair at the end of the bed. This was both helpful and very frustrating for me. I needed the silence to regain my focus for the next push; however the lack of movement and activity from everyone I knew meant I wasn’t there yet. When Harper was crowning was the only time I didn’t want to go on. It was so incredibly painful and even though I knew I was so close in the rational side of my brain the other side was saying Ok I’m done- its been ok but lets just find another way to get this kid out. Dave again stepped in and told me I hadn’t said can’t once and I didn’t need to start saying it now, I could absolutely do it. It only took a couple more pushes a few tears and a couple yells and at 2:01 pm (after only 9 hours) Harper Evelyn Whitney arrived. She was 6 lbs 5 oz and 19 inches long. When they put her on my chest there are really no words to describe the emotion; mostly surreal and unbelievable though. She was so tiny and red and she was screaming. I told her I completely agreed, that totally sucked and she could scream all she wanted. I had a 1st degree tear that had to be stitched up so after a few minutes they took her and swaddled her and gave her to Dave. She immediately stopped screaming and opened her eyes and just started at him.
After she was born and Dave had called family and she had eaten we finally got around to giving her a name. We had been going between a few and it only took about 20 min to decide that Harper Evelyn Whitney was the winner and after hanging out with her for the last two weeks I’m confident we made the right decision; at the time thought actually committing to a name was a little bit scary.
York hospital was an amazing place to spend the next couple days. The staff was amazing, the food was delicious and it felt like such a peaceful place to be. I was really sad to leave and probably would have stayed a few extra days if they had let me.
Looking back on our experience I still can’t believe it happened so fast. Getting to know Harper has been such an unreal experience. She is so small but she is such a little person already with such a personality. It seems truly bizarre that she just got here and that I “grew” her. She has really been an amazing little baby; so happy and content. I am already sad she is getting bigger and wishing she would stay little forever, however I’m equally excited to get to know this new little member of our family and watch her grow.
I am eternally grateful that Harper was able to come into the world in a natural way and that I was able to deliver her how I had hoped. Birth can be so unpredictable and I am thankful for this gift. I am also so thankful for having such an amazing midwife and nurse who were by my side the entire time and helped to create such a peaceful environment. Most important thought I am thankful for my relationship with Dave. Our ability to communicate and his ability to recognize my pain and support me when I needed it the most is something that will stay with us forever.
Wow.. such an amazing story..thanks for sharing!!!
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